


I don't want to be your friend

by imrnlyn



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, I'm sorry Soonyoung, M/M, Minor Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining, Post-Break Up, Post-relationship Jicheol, Smut, Soonhoon - Freeform, Strangers to Lovers, howoo, its not jeonghans fault okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imrnlyn/pseuds/imrnlyn
Summary: Jihoon needed to move on and Soonyoung was more than willing to help.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi & Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 112





	I don't want to be your friend

**Author's Note:**

> I loved planning this fic so much but it was a bitch to write because I didn’t expect it to be this long. 
> 
> The first half of it has flashbacks, hence the non-linear tag. I hope it's not confusing. 
> 
> !! Please read the tags.
> 
> For the record, I don’t condone cheating. This fic sounded like a good idea when I was thinking of the plot and I was already halfway through it when I realized it was indeed about cheating. If it’s not your cup of tea then click away. I have other wholesome works if you still wanna check out fics that are mine. I don’t really write angst so it would be such a waste to scrap this because I liked the scenes I wrote here. This is currently my longest work so far and it took me six months to finish this lmao. 
> 
> I’m sorry in advance.
> 
> And as always, forgive me for any grammar errors and typos. (More notes at the end)

Jihoon doesn’t know how he got here. Actually, on second thought, maybe Jihoon did know how and why he ended up here because it was familiar, the bar he and Seungcheol regularly went to. He had a gut feeling that he had to be there since Seungcheol wasn’t answering his calls and he wanted to talk. It’s been a month since Seungcheol said he needed a break so if there was a place Seungcheol would be on a weekday, it’d be here.

He did, you know, find him. He’s over there drinking on the counter, sitting on the tall stools with Jeonghan beside him.

He didn’t think much of it at first. Friends hang out, right? They go out for drinks, tell each other silly stories, and laugh at them. But, friends don’t kiss each other on the lips over and over and over again.

Jihoon stood there like an idiot, watching his boyfriend make out in public with someone who wasn’t him. He watched them giggling in each other’s ears and, somehow, Jihoon felt like he was the intruder. His phone has been heavy in his hand so he picks it up and dials Seungcheol’s number. He sees them momentarily stop and stare at the phone screen, but Seungcheol just lets it ring while he tells Jeonghan something Jihoon can’t hear. He calls him a second time, putting the phone on his ear.

 _‘Come on asshole, pick up your god damn phone._ ’

Seungcheol does. “Hello? Jihoon?” He answers, turning away from Jeonghan. Jihoon is still standing there a few tables away, hand angrily picking at the loose threads of his ripped jeans. “Jihoon-ah, hello?” When Jihoon still doesn’t answer, Seungcheol was about to end the call.

“You’re full of shit,” Jihoon mumbles.

“What? Can you speak up?” Seungcheol says, covering his other ear when the music’s not even that loud.

Jihoon wanted to bolt there and punch him straight in the face. He really did but he didn’t want to make a scene. He clenched his fist, knuckles turning white. “You fucking cheater,” Jihoon mutters under his breath.

It takes Seungcheol a few seconds before finally realizes what Jihoon had just told him. Then, he’s looking around until his eyes land on Jihoon’s. The tiny flash of fear in Seungcheol’s eyes is enough for him to know that Seungcheol intended to keep this a secret for as long as he could so Jihoon decides to storm out into the cold air.

Winter was long done but why does he feel so cold even under his leather jacket?

“Jihoon, wait!” Seungcheol yells, running after him. He tries his best to just walk straight, ignoring the stares of the other people on the sidewalk. But Seungcheol catches up to him, holding him by the wrist and forcefully turning him around.

“Jihoon, I—“

He frees his hand from Seungcheol’s grasp with so much force that he almost falls backs.

“You asked for a break and I gave it to you because I knew your work was starting to take a toll on you. I knew you needed a breather.” Jihoon says, seething.

Seungcheol sighs, eyebrows furrowed in worry. ‘ _Worry over what?’_ Jihoon thought.

“Ji, I was going to tell you.”

He knows when Seungcheol lies and this was it. He smiles bitterly at himself and how stupid it was of him to even be looking for Seungcheol in the first place when the boy certainly didn’t want to be found.

“No, you weren’t. You’re only telling me ‘cause you got caught.” He finally meets Seungcheol’s eyes, devoid of any emotion. The other doesn’t say anything in return, flustered at how fast things went to shit.

“All this fucking time,” Jihoon says, fighting the tears, shaking his head in disappointment and regret. No, he wasn’t going to cry. Maybe later, but not now, not in front of this fucking asshole. “And with Jeonghan hyung, too.”

Seungcheol takes hesitant steps toward him but he keeps their distance, taking a few steps back himself. “It was my fault okay? Jeonghan had nothing to do with this.”

_The nerve he has. He’s even protecting him._

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Jihoon whispers. The one thing that used to scare Seungcheol because it meant Jihoon was completely mad.

“How could I just—“

Jihoon listens to his stuttering, finding which words to say. So, Jihoon decides to beat him to it before he crumbles. “Why did you ask for a fucking break when that wasn’t what it was supposed to be in the first place?” He says fuming, ears red.

“I… I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hurt you.” Seungcheol answers. Jihoon always thought Seungcheol to be charismatic, everyone adored him. But right now, Seungcheol looked pathetic. And to think that he has his other lover probably waiting for him back at that god forsaken bar.

He looks back at Seungcheol, eyes glassy, and laughs bitterly. “It would’ve hurt less. I would’ve let you go.”

Seungcheol was hurt by what Jihoon just said, but he wasn’t in the place to question Jihoon right now. Just at how Jihoon was going to let him go the second he asked.

“I’m sorry, Jihoon.” He finally says, because really? What is there to say? He was caught red-handed by the one person who trusted him with all his heart, he had no more excuses.

“You know what?” Jihoon tells him, combing a hand through his hair in frustration. “Save it. I can’t… I’m leaving.” He turns to leave but Seungcheol didn’t want him to. He held on to his wrist a second time to stop him from taking any steps away.

“Jihoon, please.”

Jihoon yanks his arms off, his jacket falling off one shoulder from the mere strength of it. “And don’t fucking contact me.” He walks finally walks off, ignoring the stares of a couple of bystanders who stayed and watched the exchange.

He left Seungcheol there, which meant he won right? But why doesn’t it feel like it?

For the first time in a while, Jihoon felt completely and utterly lost.

\--

They met in college. Jihoon was fairly known in his department but not in the way that the older was. Everyone knew who Seungcheol was because of his kind and approachable nature. Even the professors were charmed by him. People outside his department knew him since he was a teacher’s assistant.

Jihoon was known as the music student who always had a piano studio reserved for him every single day, without fail. Maybe it had something to do with him being cousins with the person who had the room schedules, Seokmin. With time, people started to refer to it as ‘Jihoon’s room,’ the first studio on the second-floor hallway in the music building. If he wasn’t in class, that’s where you’d definitely find him.

Jihoon first met Seungcheol during their third year in college. He doesn’t usually go to parties, well he doesn’t really prefer going out altogether, but Seokmin held the piano studio against him if he didn’t. “Hyung, just this once please.” Seokmin had said.

Jihoon has a vague idea of what parties would look like, it’s not rocket science. Big red cups filled with booze, and loud music. He really hoped there was pizza though. Seokmin didn’t let him get dinner.

“Hyung, it’s a party so there’s going to be food for sure.”

Turns out, it was Hong Jisoo’s party, who Seokmin had been crushing on for the longest time.

“You must be Jihoon!” Jisoo all but screams over the music after opening the door for them. Jesus Christ, it wasn’t even that loud. “Come on in.”

He ushers them to what looked like the living room but it was weird because there was no TV. _They probably have a separate TV room, who knows._ There was a big modern fireplace and some plants that balanced the modern yet homey vibe of the place. Jisoo’s place felt very homey if he wasn’t here for a party.

“The drinks are over there,” he points to a crowded corner. “Snacks are outside.”

Jihoon looks out the giant sliding doors and wonders how he missed the pool. And, _does Jisoo own all the giant pool floaters everyone’s tossing around?_ Because they look like they’re a lot for a guy his age.

It was alright, talking to Seokmin and Jisoo. He did feel a lot like a third-wheel but he appreciated the company. The more time they spent talking, the more he understood a few of the reasons why Seokmin liked him. He was friendly but not in an overwhelming way. He had a way of talking that would make you swoon, not to mention the sweet tone of his voice, and there was something gentle about him that Jihoon couldn’t specifically point out.

But the problem was, there was no pizza in this place.

He taps Seokmin on the shoulder and Seokmin crouches to hear him over the music. “I’m gonna go grab some food somewhere.”

“Oh actually, there’s pizza in the back kitchen,” Jisoo tells him. _They have a back kitchen? How many kitchens do they have?_ “Pop it in the oven, it’s probably cold by now.”

That’s how he finds himself sitting on the kitchen counter, feet dangling, waiting for the oven to ding. Jihoon had to admit, it was nice in the kitchen because it was empty. He was starting to develop a migraine from the music outside. So he’s startled when someone yells by the kitchen entrance, “Yah! Yoon Jeonghan don’t finish it all!”

Seungcheol entered the kitchen laughing but stops when he sees Jihoon like a deer caught in the headlights. Seungcheol thought he was cute. “Oh sorry, I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

Jihoon hops off the counter, thinking it might’ve been rude of him to do so when it wasn’t his even house. “Sorry, I was just re-heating some pizza. I’ll be out soon.”

Seungcheol smiles at him, leaving a weird feeling at the pit of Jihoon’s stomach. “There’s pizza?”

“Yeah,” he answers, pointing to the kitchen cabinets.

Seungcheol audibly gasps at the stacks of pizza boxes inside. “Why’re they all here?” Taking a box out just as the oven dings. Jihoon’s pizza is done.

He shrugs at the other’s question picking up his plate and trying to not to look as awkward as possible as he ate. He just wanted to eat his pizza in peace with an ice-cold cola, then maybe head straight home.

“Oh hey,” Seungcheol says turning to him, puzzled. “Are you a friend of Jisoo’s?”

“I’m a friend of Seokmin’s.” _Yeah, Jihoon as if that explains why you’re here._

Jihoon sees the lightbulb light up in Seungcheol’s brain. “Oh yeah, I know Seokmin. Then we must go to the same school.”

He doesn’t know how he’s managing to still be in this conversation, maybe it has everything to do with Seungcheol. “I guess so.”

“I’m Seungcheol, by the way.”

“Jihoon.”

Seungcheol then concentrates on the mountain of pizzas he’s putting on the oven tray. Jihoon doesn’t have the heart to tell him that it won’t heat up even if he does that. _Whatever_. It wasn’t like they were friends or anything. Seungcheol’s a grown man, he should know how he likes his pizza.

“How come I’ve never seen you around campus?” Seungcheol asks because he knows a lot of people and if he’s friends with Seokmin through Jisoo, then they should’ve met by now. Besides, it wasn’t the start of the school year anymore, not even near. So how come he hasn’t seen or heard of Jihoon before?

“I don’t… go out much.” _Lee Jihoon, that was so lame._

“What department are you in?”

“Music,” Jihoon answers just as Seokmin comes in yelling his name.

Seokmin greets Seungcheol so Jihoon figures they’re probably close. If not, at least acquainted.

“What’s taking you so long?” Seokmin asks. “Come on. We’re heading out for burgers.”

With that, Jihoon puts down his plate, pizza in hand to tail after Seokmin. Only feeling half bad that he was leaving Seungcheol there and only realizing how he found it so easy to talk to him.

“See you around, Jihoon.” The other says, leaning against the kitchen counter. Jihoon would be a fool if he didn’t think that was hot because it really was. He tries really hard not to blush when Seungcheol flashes him a smile and a wave goodbye.

Only when they were out of the house did Jihoon notice that he really didn’t want to leave. It was pleasant talking to Seungcheol, refreshing almost. And that weird feeling in his stomach just won’t go away.

\--

Jihoon heard the familiar sound of the elevator stopping at his floor. It’s probably Seungcheol.

He stopped coming home after what happened and was probably staying at Jeonghan’s place now. Hell, he’s probably been staying there for weeks now and Jihoon didn’t know. He doesn’t want to know.

Jihoon moped and overworked himself for two weeks straight, even on the weekends, until he was finally able to tidy up all of Seungcheol’s belongings in his flat.

 _‘you should get your stuff.’_ Jihoon had texted. Getting a short _‘okay’_ in reply.

He cried some more that day but no one needed to know that. If anyone asked why his eyes were swollen the following day, Jihoon just told them he wasn’t able to sleep or that he binged a drama all night. He also drank that expensive wine Seungcheol’s dad gave them for Christmas.

Seungcheol wondered if he should knock or just input the passcode like he always did.

“Just get in.” He heard Jihoon say from inside the apartment, so he did.

Seungcheol felt weirdly familiar and, at the same time, alien in the place he used to call home. Brown boxes replaced the shoes that were normally scattered in the entryway on a normal day.

He was toeing off his shoes when he called for the other.

“Jihoon?”

He, then, heard footsteps approaching but he never came face to face with Jihoon. Stopping just where the entryway ends. “Everything you own is in the box by the door.” He says, tone flat.

It’s simple, Jihoon didn’t want to see him and he can’t blame him. If he walks a little further and turns right on the hallway, that’s where Jihoon would be. Seungcheol could see his shadow on the floor.

Silence envelopes them. Neither of them knowing what to say, afraid of adding even more fuel to the fire.

Seungcheol fixes his shoes then and picks up the box with his name written in black marker. He’s surprised one box of things is all he had at Jihoon’s place when he almost practically lived there.

Jihoon was still there, and Seungcheol stood for a second to see if Jihoon would come out of the shadows or even just say something to him.

He never imagined that he’d be breaking up with Jihoon, after 4 years, in the worst possible way. It was obvious Jihoon wasn’t planning on talking to him after all this, so he decides to throw his shot.

“Can we at least be friends?”

Jihoon bows his head and takes a few deep breathes to calm his frustrations and pent up anger. “Seungcheol, I don’t really want to be your fucking friend right now for fuck’s sake.”

 _‘Way to go asshole,’_ Seungcheol thought. He should’ve seen that coming. “Right, sorry.”

“I really am sorry Jihoon.” He repeats.

Seungcheol hears him sigh, sounding defeated.

“I know,” Jihoon whispers. Seungcheol caught the hurt in his voice, maybe he should really leave. Jihoon didn’t deserve all of this and he knew every second he stood there, hurt Jihoon immensely so he finally opens the door and leaves.

All Jihoon did was love him and he couldn’t reciprocate it ‘till the end.

Jihoon would be lying if he said running after Seungcheol didn’t cross his mind because it did. Every day for two weeks, all he wanted to do was ask for Seungcheol to take him back, to love him again just like he did back in college, but the thought always felt heavy in his heart.

It simply didn’t feel like the right thing to do.

He didn’t want to beg for his love because if Seungcheol still loved him, he wouldn’t have to.

Jihoon doesn’t cry when Seungcheol shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t cry when the door chimes, locking automatically. Not even when Seungcheol walks away and pushes the elevator button. He cries when he hears the elevator door close and Seungcheol is no longer in earshot. He falls on the floor, his back against the cold call, loud sobs wrecking through his chest. He probably looks pathetic.

When he calms down again, he wipes his face on his shirt and stands up like a champ, not like he just cried over his ex for the nth time this week, and decides what to eat for dinner.

\--

Jeonghan was, as everyone would say, Seungcheol’s best friend. You wouldn’t see Seungcheol without Jeonghan and vice versa. Well, except for the few classes they didn’t share of course.

Jeonghan has been Seungcheol’s constant since junior year of high school and they’ve practically been attached by the hip since.

Jihoon met him again a few days after the party. He was on his way to the professors’ office. He usually walked with his head down, in case he came across anyone he knew, to avoid the interaction.

No, he wasn’t anti-social, he just hated small talk and the awkwardness that came along with it.

Of all days, times, and locations that Jihoon would raise his head while walking, he just had to be coming across Seungcheol.

If you ask Jihoon, he would’ve just ignored Seungcheol. He was good at that. Besides, it wasn’t like they got close at the party anyway, they just talked a little. Unfortunately for Jihoon, Seungcheol wasn’t on the same boat.

Seungcheol won’t admit this out loud but Jihoon left an impression on him when they met at the party. He knew Jihoon was trying to be polite and answer even when he felt like Jihoon wasn’t the talkative type and he really appreciated that. He was cute too, not gonna lie. Jihoon was exactly like his ideal type but that would be weird, they only met once. It was, obviously, too early to say that.

“Oh, Jihoon! Hi.” Seungcheol waved, a million-dollar smile plastered on his face, dimples and all.

Jihoon had no choice but to acknowledge the other. “Hey,” he said with a nod and a stupid tiny wave. _Why did he wave? He never waves._

Was it weird that this was their first time seeing each other on campus?

Then, Seungcheol was crossing the hall walking towards him and Jihoon only had the slightest urge to run away. _Jihoon, what happened to ‘it was nice talking to Seungcheol?_

“You going somewhere?” _‘What the hell, of course, he’s going somewhere Seungcheol. Get it together.’_

Jihoon nods in reply, “I’m looking for Mr. Jang.”

Seungcheol raises his eyebrows in thought. Jihoon thinks he looks good even when he looks prim and proper, he’s a teacher’s assistant after all. He looked more casual back at the party. “Oh? He just left. We were just there.”

“Oh.” Maybe, Jihoon’s concern could wait ‘till tomorrow.

Seungcheol’s friends have finally caught up with him, standing right behind him so they weren’t blocking the hall, which Jihoon is thankful for because he didn’t want any more attention.

He recognized Jisoo, but there were three of them.

Seungcheol saw the hesitation and uneasiness in Jihoon’s eyes after looking briefly at the people he was with. He knew Jihoon was shy if their encounter at the party was any sign. He didn’t know it was to this extent.

“Right. This is Jeonghan.” Seungcheol points at the person to his right and introduces Jihoon back at him. All Jihoon could offer was a small smile because although talking to Seungcheol was nice. He hated how awkward he felt in situations like this. It wouldn’t be an issue if he wasn’t. He also worries that it might reflect on his face and make the person uncomfortable. He didn’t want to make the other person feel bad because he was so bad at interacting.

“And, well, you already know Jisoo.” Seungcheol finishes.

He did know Jisoo. But, he only met him once, at the party. Jihoon figures that, maybe, this was why he probably should’ve accepted Seokmin’s invites years ago. Seungcheol and him, they’re practically in the same circle since Jisoo and Seokmin are practically dating now. Actually, he’s going to have to ask Seokmin about that later. But if the party was any indication, Jihoon assumes they’ve been dating for some time now.

“We’re heading out for lunch,” Seungcheol says, cutting Jihoon from his inner monologue. “You wanna—“

 _“No.”_ Jihoon regrets saying that too fast, Seungcheol would totally misunderstand. “No. No, I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I have plans. Yeah.”

_Wait, why is he even worried if Seungcheol would misunderstand?_

But Seungcheol smiles then, so Jihoon assumed it was fine. “Oh, okay then. See you around.”

He just offers them the kindest smile he could muster and waves as they went.

_Again with the waving. Two times, you already did it two times._

It was only when the three of them were gone that Jihoon finally realized how tense his whole body was. He sighs because that weird feeling in his stomach was there the whole time Seungcheol was in front of him. Should he be worried? Should he have accepted the lunch invite?

_God damn it._

Okay. Maybe he has a little crush on Seungcheol.

\--

It was almost 4 weeks post-breakup, a Saturday, and Jihoon thinks he’s been better. The time was 2 in the afternoon, he had just finished a lunch meeting with the director. The man liked the songs Jihoon presented so things were significantly looking up for him.

His work life was back to normal, more or less. Routines were coming back to the way they were, just more time to himself and he rather liked that. He got so used to doing everything with Seungcheol, being ‘them,’ that he could no longer recall what it felt like to be just him, alone. It had been so long since he had all the time for himself and he really liked it.

He sat on the black sofa in his office when his phone rang.

Jihoon winced, seeing the caller ID.

It was Jeonghan.

He wanted to reject the call. He didn’t really want to deal with this and talk to Jeonghan right now. But he felt like he had to and he feels stupid thinking about it.

He sucks in a breath, body sagging on the sofa. Suddenly, he felt so drained and tired. Maybe the earlier boost in his mood was over.

“Ji,” he heard Jeonghan say as he swiped to answer the call.

“Jeonghan hyung.” He hears Jeonghan make a sharp inhale of breath. Jihoon sighs. “Sorry, you’re the last person I want to talk to you right now.”

Jeonghan took a few seconds to respond. Truthfully, Jeonghan expected this. Whatever happened between them, he knew it wasn’t going to blow over soon. Whether he liked it or not, he was the reason they broke up. He was the third party.

“I know. I fucked up. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. He told me you two were broken up.” He said in one single breathe, afraid that Jihoon might cut the call before he has the chance to say it.

Jihoon couldn’t help but smile bitterly at himself. “Yeah, well… we are now.”

Neither knew what else was there to say. He hurt Jihoon. It was so stupid to reason that he didn’t know. He should’ve asked Jihoon in the first place when Seungcheol came to him, but he didn’t. Why didn’t he ask?

Jeonghan didn’t know what else to say other than apologize because what else was there to say? “I’m really sorry Jihoon. I’m truly am.”

“I just wish it wasn’t you.”

Jihoon really did.

They weren’t the closest but he was his boyfriend’s best friend, he was always there for them when they had misunderstandings; when Seungcheol was being too stubborn to admit that it was his mistake, when Jihoon ran out late at night, Jeonghan was the first person Jihoon called to tell him where he was so Seungcheol would know he was fine.

It was so fucked up, all of this.

But, at the back of his mind, Jihoon saw it coming. He always had a feeling Jeonghan liked Seungcheol so congratulations, they finally did it.

Jihoon woke up this morning hoping he could spend the night on his sofa, under the softest duvet he had, eat cereal, and maybe watch a documentary. He always wanted to watch one but never got around to do it. Well, now, he had all the time to himself.

Sadly, it looked like he was going to end up getting drunk alone. Again.

\--

Jihoon didn’t have a big family but the few family he had, he loved dearly.

He was an only child and had two cousins that he grew up with. Seokmin, who Jihoon goes to college with, and Chan, Seokmin’s younger brother.

It was the youngest Lee’s birthday and as for the venue, Jihoon was sent an address a week before which turned out to be a rooftop deck. Seungcheol, unfortunately, had prior commitments with his friends so Jihoon had to come alone.

Entering, he’s welcomed by loud music and strings of lights that he thought were nice (read: pretty, but he wouldn’t admit that out loud) along with the fact that it was an open-air venue. Jihoon liked it a lot because the weather was really nice, the sky was clear and the moon was bright.

“Jihoon hyung!” Seokmin was the first he meets being the one closest to the door.

“What are you doing by the door?” Jihoon questions.

“I’m waiting for someone.”

Jihoon brushes it off and looks for Chan. They spot each other at the same time so Chan runs to give him a hug.

“Hyung, you made it!” Chan cheers then checks his phone. “Only eighteen minutes late.”

Jihoon laughs before handing him the gift.

“You didn’t have to.” Chan plays off even if Jihoon could see in his face that he was happy about the sheer size of the box.

“Check if it fits. We can have it changed within a week if it doesn’t.” He tells Chan.

The younger’s eyes widen. He knew exactly what it was and hastily rips the gift open. “Oh my god hyung! You got me the shoes!”

“Seungcheol and I split it,” Jihoon says, delighted at seeing how much Chan liked it. “And he’s sorry for not coming along.”

“That’s totally fine, hyung. What’s important is the gift got here.” Chan waves a hand, both of them laughing.

Jihoon then heads over to the table of the few people he knew from the music department that Seokmin apparently invited.

“You told me to wait by the door almost an hour ago. You said you were near!” Seokmin yells at his newly arrived guest.

“I said, I was on the way.” He replies, nonchalant.

Seokmin sighs. “Soonyoung, I swear. I’m not inviting you to my birthday.”

“You love me,” Soonyoung says as Seokmin turns his back at him, leaving. “I’m your best friend!” He screams, running after him.

They settle by the bar, looking around as the party went. Elbows resting over the counter as they sat on tall bar stools.

“Who’s that? He’s really cute.” Soonyoung asks Seokmin, looking at the guy in the light blue sweater laughing two tables away.

Seokmin looks at Soonyoung’s line of sight. “Oh, that’s Jihoon hyung. But, he already has a boyfriend so he’s off-limits.”

“Really?” Soonyoung smiles seeing Jihoon stand up to refill his cup. “I should go talk to him.”

“Wait. What? No.” Seokmin utters but Soonyoung was already gone.

“Hi,” Soonyoung says, greeting him with a grin.

“Um…hello?” Jihoon replies, eyebrows bunched in the middle, wondering who the guy was and why he was blocking his way back to the table.

“You’re Seokmin’s cousin right?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon answers but it ends up sounding more like a question because, for one, he didn’t know who this person was and why he was talking to him.

“Oh,” Soonyoung extends a hand, initiating a handshake. “I’m Soonyoung, by the way.”

“Jihoon.” He says, uninterested but too shy to reject the handshake.

Soonyoung flashes him a smile and says, “You’re really cute.”

Jihoon wasn’t sure if he heard that right or if he should take offense judging that they were basically strangers. This guy was definitely hitting on him. “Excuse me what?” He asks, slightly offended.

Soonyoung eyes him from head to toe. Jihoon feels himself being judged and a little close to getting angry.

“You’re cute.” Soonyoung says with a satisfied grin, not minding the irritated expression on the other’s face. “Why? Don’t people tell you that? They really should, you know?”

“Sorry, but I have a boyfriend,” Jihoon replies, trying really hard to stay composed. He wasn’t going to let some jerk mess up his night. He came here to celebrate his cousin’s birthday, not let some stranger hit on him.

“I know. I just thought you should know. Because you are you know? Cute.”

Seokmin, who had been watching the exchange, sees Jihoon starting to clench the fist that wasn’t holding his drink, so he finally decides to step in.

“Soonyoung hyung!” Seokmin cuts in, jumping at Soonyoung with an awkward smile plastered on his face. “There you are.” He, then, turns to his cousin with an apologetic face. “Hyung, sorry about that. He talks a lot.” Jihoon stands there, looking at the two of them, irritated out of his wits.

Seokmin turns to Soonyoung, pushing him away. “Chan’s looking for you.”

“Oh? But we just met…” He replies, trying really hard to go back to where Jihoon had been left standing.

Seokmin shakes his head. “No, he’s looking for you again.” And finally proceeds to drag the other away. He looks back at Jihoon, “I’m sorry, he’s drunk.”

“What the fuck?” Soonyoung exclaims, trying so hard to peer Seokmin’s arms of him but to no avail. “No, I’m not. I just got here!”

Soonyoung obviously didn’t leave a good impression on Jihoon. He didn’t have much experience in taking the initiative to introduce himself before but if there was a way to try and get to know some stranger, he was sure it wasn’t that.

He found out later on that the guy was Seokmin’s best friend, unfortunately, so he knew they were bound to meet again. To put it nicely, Soonyoung had a lot of personality traits that didn’t sit well with Jihoon judging from Chan’s party alone. He never kept his mouth shut when he was around Jihoon or that Soonyoung initiates completely pointless conversations that always felt like they would never end.

The following month was Seokmin’s party at a resto-bar and, for some reason, Soonyoung decided he was going to get absolutely drunk. Emptying can after can of beer.

They somehow ended up at the same table with their other friends, finding out that they had actually more common friends than they thought despite coming from different universities.

One of them had excused himself to have a smoke outside and all the others wanted to come along. Seokmin excused himself to check on the other table if they needed anything. That leaves the two of them alone at the table.

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung mumbles, obviously drunk. “I really like you. Did you know?”

Jihoon had a wild guess that he did just from the fact that Seokmin told him that Soonyoung kept asking for his number. “No.” He answers shortly, drinking his beer.

Soonyoung smiles, more to himself, playing with the condensation on the table.

Jihoon stayed silent. He didn’t want this conversation but he thought that it would probably be too much if he left Soonyoung all alone. He wasn’t that type of person, no. Besides, Soonyoung was drunk and he realized that this was better than sober-talkative-Soonyoung.

“If only you didn’t have a boyfriend…” Soonyoung utters quietly, but Jihoon’s ears caught it despite the music playing in the background.

Jihoon looks over to the other table where Seungcheol was with his own circle of friends. It was Seokmin’s birthday so it was obvious that Jisoo would be there.

Seungcheol must’ve felt his eyes on him, so he turns to Jihoon with a smile.

‘Everything okay?’ Seungcheol mouths.

Jihoon smiles back with a thumbs up and decides to let it go, whatever Soonyoung just said. The guy was drunk, Jihoon thought he wouldn’t even remember this when the alcohol fades.

\--

Jihoon’s aware that everyone probably knew by now that he and Seungcheol were over. And by everyone, he means his extended circle also known as Seokmin’s friends.

Seokmin had invited him over to a party at some bar. “Hyung, just come with me to this party. I promise you, it’ll help get things off your mind.”

He didn’t know it was Soonyoung’s birthday.

“I can’t believe you’re here at my party,” Soonyoung says, plopping beside him on the leather couch, a shit-eating grin on his face. Jihoon eyes him, noticing the way he had his bangs up. He looked good.

“Seokmin didn’t tell me it was a birthday party,” Jihoon answers, almost ashamed that he was there knowing he’s done nothing but think of Soonyoung like he was an asshole when he’s clearly not done anything wrong to Jihoon.

They sat side by side in silence. Jihoon was just waiting for Seokmin to come back so he could tell him that he was leaving.

“So,” Soonyoung starts. “I heard you two broke up.”

Jihoon chooses to ignore the hint of delight in his tone, scoffing. “You must be so happy.”

Soonyoung laughed, nervous. Jihoon wasn’t supposed to be annoyed at him for a change. “Hey now, don’t put words in my mouth. I just wanted to ask how you were.”

Jihoon turns to him with a frown, a little surprised at the inquiry. It was the first time Soonyoung wasn’t blatantly trying to flirt with him.

“I’m fine.” Jihoon answers.

And he was. He’d gotten a lot better since.

Everything that happened after that was a fucking blur. Jihoon couldn’t recall them in chronological order and the few moments that he did, only in chunks.

First, he was with Soonyoung on the couch then Seokmin was pulling him to a game of beer pong and they were losing. They lost two games due to Seokmin’s insistence that he was actually good at the game until he just gave up. He didn’t see Soonyoung again until later when they ended up coincidentally sitting across each other at the table where everyone that was left at the party had gathered. It was probably 2 AM by then.

Jihoon was drunk but he knew that, although Soonyoung was engaged in the conversation, he was following Jihoon’s every move. He brushes it off at first until he could feel that their feet had somehow ended up touching under the table. He finally looks back at Soonyoung, trying to figure out what he was trying to do but he couldn’t.

Soonyoung’s hair was no longer as kept as before. He was staring right at Jihoon with half-lidded eyes, and the top buttons of his shirt now undone. From where he sat, Jihoon could see the slight glisten of sweat on Soonyoung’s chest.

He felt like prey ready to be pounced on.

He didn’t know if it was from all the alcohol or the crowd, but he started to sweat, and being under Soonyoung’s gaze made it twice as unsettling. So he stood up to head to the men’s room.

Jihoon stared at his own reflection in the mirror, face dripping wet and cheeks flushed, wondering if what he was thinking was right. He knows he wasn’t drunk so what he has are coherent thoughts at most. But, god damn it why was he so turned on by Soonyoung just now?

He hears the restroom door open and turns to see who it was.

What transpired in that restroom, somehow ended up in Jihoon’s house.

He could barely open the door to his own home with Soonyoung touching him all over. At some point, he was scared that the neighbors would see them but it was 3 in the morning by then.

Entering, they stumble on the couch, a mess of tongue and teeth.

Jihoon admits, Soonyoung is a pretty good kisser.

Soonyoung pushes him down on the couch and hovers over him, his hands caging Jihoon’s head so they’re eye-to-eye. He takes this as an opportunity to open up Soonyoung’s shirt. Under his touch, Soonyoung’s muscles were well-defined and he should’ve seen it coming, the man was a dancer for crying out loud. Maybe, he just never really thought of it.

He lifts his head to kiss the newly exposed skin of Soonyoung’s chest, lips brushing over his nipples making Soonyoung moan.

“You left all your guests.” Jihoon managed in between kisses, panting a little.

Soonyoung lifts his chin kissing Jihoon hard on the lips.

“Yeah. It’s no longer the 15th, my birthday is technically over.” Soonyoung replies as he pulled Jihoon back up to trail kisses down his throat. He slips a hand under Jihoon’s shirt, caressing the skin there before lifting it over his head.

Soonyoung could feel Jihoon getting hard and he, too, was so painfully hard in his pants but he didn’t really want to fuck Jihoon on the couch. Or Jihoon would be the one to fuck him. He’s not sure, they haven’t talked about it. But he was sure about wanting to do it on a bed.

“Jihoon, I really want to take you right now but where is your bedroom?” He asks, sucking the skin under Jihoon’s ear.

Soonyoung lifts him off the couch, carrying him to the direction of the bedroom with his hands on Jihoon’s ass. It’s as feels plump as it looks, he notes.

He lightly kicks the door open and stumbles back on the bed with Jihoon on his lap. Jihoon’s knees dig on the soft sheets, straddling him. Soonyoung starts gently nipping on his bottom lip causing Jihoon to recall the last time Seungcheol and he last did that. Fortunately, he tunes it out because he can’t actually remember it. He stops before he could spiral down that hole again. For now, he’s with Soonyoung.

Soonyoung crawls back until his back hits the soft pillows on the bed. He pulls Jihoon gently by the jaw, for a deep searing kiss. He couldn’t ignore the feeling of Jihoon’s weight on him, over his crotch. Jihoon pulls away from the kiss with his lips red and slick with spit.

“You’re aware that you’re gonna be a rebound right?” Jihoon whispers a breath away from Soonyoung’s face, his hands on the ply of the other’s jeans.

Soonyoung smirks back. This wasn’t what he had in mind when he thought that he wanted to help Jihoon in any way that he could but he wasn’t complaining. “Sure.”

Jihoon puts it upon himself to undo Soonyoung’s jeans. The latter’s eyes following his every movement, the way his fingers curl over the waist of his jeans and underwear before gently pulling them off and throwing them somewhere, probably on the floor.

He then reaches over to the side table, retrieving a bottle of lube and condoms. And when he settles back in the space between Soonyoung’s legs, there’s an evident smirk on his eyes even in the barely lit bedroom.

“I knew you were a top.” Soonyoung mumbles.

It takes Jihoon a few seconds to process what he just said, eyes narrowed in confusion. “What?”

Soonyoung’s smile only widens, the flush on his cheeks more evident now. Jihoon would say he’s cute if he wasn’t in such a haste and he still wasn’t sure of how this thing between them would transpire later on.

“Seokmin kept telling me you probably bottomed.”

He drops the lube and condoms on the bed. This wasn’t something he wanted to talk about with anybody, especially when his cousin’s name is being mentioned. That’s a little weird.

“You two talk about that?” Jihoon asks. He shuts his eyes tightly trying to rid of the scene in his head, holding the lube again and opening the bottle with a click. “Can we not talk what Seokmin said when I’m literally about to prep you?

Soonyoung practically giggles, eyes raking down Jihoon’s body. “Sorry,” he mumbles. He touches himself a few times, making sure Jihoon is paying attention.

Soonyoung wakes up to the sound of quick footsteps going about in the bedroom. Oh right, Jihoon’s bedroom. He spent the night at Jihoon’s. They fucked.

He attempts to sit up, elbows propped on the pillow under him. “You’re leaving? Did you forget that this is your house?” He asks chuckling and rubbing his eyes.

“I got an early meeting today,” Jihoon says as he buttoned his shirt in front of the full-length mirror.

“Aw, I was looking forward to lazy morning sex with you.” Soonyoung casually mentions.

It makes Jihoon stop whatever he was doing but he tries not to make eye contact with him. It had been a while since he got laid and last night was nice. He’s afraid he might forego this important meeting and jump back in bed if he sees Soonyoung still naked in his bed.

Soonyoung smiles, seeing the short internal battle Jihoon was going through, and takes note of how he was considering it.

“Let’s save it for next time.”

Jihoon ignores it, fixing his sleeves. “I think there’s food in the fridge, make yourself something. Make sure the doors are locked when you leave.”

Soonyoung lays there, watching Jihoon tuck his shirt, looking like his wet dream. His hair was brushed back neatly, pants hugging his ass and thighs like they were tailored specifically for him, and his sleeves folded properly below his elbows.

When he hears the front door shut as Jihoon left, Soonyoung finally gets up, picking up his clothes from last night and washing his face in the bathroom.

He fixes the bed, hoping Jihoon would notice later on, how he was a nice lay who tidies up the scene of the crime. Then he goes to check the fridge expecting cans after cans of beer or bottles of wine. So he’s surprised when he sees that Jihoon was a proper self-sufficient adult who knew how to properly do his grocery shopping like his mom probably taught him. Soonyoung always came out of supermarkets with half of his bags containing snacks. He should probably also take note of that.

He spots the steak in the freezer and takes a slice. Cooking it in butter with a few vegetables he also found.

He didn’t really need to but he sends Jihoon a proof shot that he did eat and, yes, he chose the most expensive thing he could find.

**_To: Jihoon  
_ ** _Thanks for the steak._

**_From: Jihoon  
_ ** _Sure._

Soonyoung thinks about how he deserves a pat on the back since this was the first time Jihoon ever replied to his text message. Despite it being a one-syllable word, he considers this progress.

\--

It’s later in the afternoon when Soonyoung met up with Seokmin at his place. The other demanding a story of how he left and ended up where he did. To make the story short, Seokmin figured it out when he noticed the two missing last night.

“You’re no fun,” Soonyoung tells him a little bombed out. He was excited to brag about it. Sparing the details, of course. He’s not the type to kiss and tell, especially when the person was his best friend’s relative.

“Hey, you didn’t tell me your cousin was loaded.” He turns to Seokmin.

They were in the living room. Seokmin was messing around with the electric keyboard that came in the mail a few days ago which he hasn’t gotten around to learning yet. Another one of his many drunk online shopping escapades.

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily call it that.” Seokmin replies, playing around with the stored sample melodies.

“He freaking had steak in his fridge.” He unintentionally says louder than he’d intended. “Who stores steak in their fridge?”

“I guess, he does.” Seokmin shrugs.

Soonyoung then sits up properly, turning to face Seokmin properly. “How rich is he?”

“Why do you even want to know?”

Soonyoung scoffs, “Is it so bad that maybe I want to know a little more information about the person I’m sleeping with?”

Okay, he still wasn’t sure if this was going to be a regular thing but he’s keeping his hopes up. When it came to Jihoon, he always has his hopes up.

Seokmin smiles at him knowingly, “Why don’t you ask him?”

“You think he’d answer me?”

Seokmin thinks about it because they rarely talk about their family, and he wasn’t sure if he needed Jihoon’s permission for this. He knew the older was defensive whenever the topic involved his family. But this was just Soonyoung and they both knew him, so he hums in agreement anyway. “Let’s just say, he could live a comfortable life even if he wasn’t making music.”

It only confuses Soonyoung even more. “But you’re literally his family, how do you not know much?

The other sighs, standing up from the bench and plopping down beside Soonyoung on the couch. “Look, his parents own a number of businesses okay? I never really cared to find out because they were barely home. They’re snobs.”

He notices the mood shift in the room. Seokmin wasn’t one to keep secrets, especially from him. He knew his best friend wouldn’t hurt a fly but he was very protective of those close to him.

“So that’s where he gets it from.” He says attempting to lighten up the room.

Seokmin is quiet in thought. “No one really knows a lot about him. Aside from me, I guess, but I’m family. Obviously, Seungcheol hyung too.”

Soonyoung decides to drop it at that, realizing he doesn’t really know a thing about Jihoon other than the fact that he’s a producer, he’s cousins with his best friend, and that he just got out of a long term relationship.

\--

It was going to be a regular thing after all. Soonyoung finds out a few days later when he finally decides to shoot Jihoon a text ‘just in case.’

**_To: Jihoon  
_ ** _so is it fine to say that I’ve been waiting for you to call me over?_

**_From: Jihoon  
_**_what do you want me to do? Pick you up?_  
  
Imagine the speed at which Soonyoung showers and exerts extra effort in getting ready, putting a dab of his expensive cologne behind his ears and wearing tight jeans that made his ass look heavenly. He knows because his friends have commented on it on multiple occasions.

He’s not sure if it mattered though because when he got there, they went straight to business.

Soonyoung rode Jihoon to oblivion. It’s insane.

He still couldn’t get the images off his head, of Jihoon gripping his thighs and hips, leaving faint marks, as he held on to the headboard for dear life.

Jihoon had asked him after if he wanted to stay the night and he agreed. Jihoon didn’t seem to mind.

They were in bed, both showered and spent. The lights were dimmed down hoping it would eventually lull them to sleep. Jihoon lent him a comfortable shirt to sleep in, rejecting the shorts that went with it proudly announcing that he slept only in boxers. Again, Jihoon didn’t seem to mind.

“How come I never heard if you ever dated?” Jihoon suddenly asks.

To which Soonyoung laughs saying “Did you forget that I’m in love with you?” as a joke.

Jihoon scowls at him. “Soonyoung,” he says, deadpanned.

To be fair, Soonyoung hasn’t come to terms with his feelings as of recent. He likes Jihoon. That was it. Feelings aside though, he knew that he was going to be fine with their arrangement. It’s just casual sex, no big deal. It’s convenient. He’s an adult, he’ll survive.

Soonyoung laughs, lightly nudging Jihoon’s shoulder. “I’m kidding. Relax. Come on, smile a little.”

Jihoon ignores it for reasons he, himself, didn’t know. He’s been used to countering Soonyoung’s blatant confessions for so long, it has become second nature to him.

He notices Soonyoung falling quiet, deep in thought with a prominent pout on his still visibly kiss-bitten lips. He did that.

Soonyoung raises his arms to put his head over them, finding a more relaxing position. “I just stopped trying, I guess? They don’t like that I prioritize work over them. Just hookups here and there.”

Jihoon didn’t know Soonyoung well but he concludes if he was friends with Seokmin, he’s probably a free-spirited person. The type to go on late-night grocery runs because he’s run out of milk and sweet-talking the middle-aged lady at the small convenience store near his place because they’re literally about to close. He assumes he’s someone who’s always on-the-go for spontaneous trips to who-knows-where. Qualities Jihoon could never relate to.

“So you’re used to these kinds of setups?”

Soonyoung smiles but Jihoon notices the hint of bitterness to it. “You could say that.”

Soonyoung falls asleep with Jihoon’s scent all over him and the butterflies in his tummy going haywire.

He wonders if this was also something he should get used to.

\--

Soonyoung should find it weird how they got so close in such a short span of time, knowing Jihoon vehemently ignored him prior to this. Prior to the breakup. But Jihoon was actually a genuinely nice person once you get to know him. He was right. Of course, he was.

Jihoon would always ask him to stay over after the sex. “It’s late,” he’d always say. Which didn’t make sense to Soonyoung. He was a grown man. For sure he could get home easily in his car. But he wasn’t going to reject Jihoon’s hospitality. He was just being a nice fuck buddy.

It was around that same time when Jihoon realized that Soonyoung wasn’t as bad as he thought he was, now that he’s getting to know him. He’s actually nice to talk to.

Then why the hell was he so mean to him way back then?

Soonyoung would always leave notes on his fridge, sometimes his mirror, when he had to leave early and Jihoon appreciated them. It felt good knowing it wasn’t a one night stand, that it wasn’t some stranger he was messing around with.

Soonyoung would sometimes bring over food too if he still hasn’t had dinner that night, asking Jihoon what drink he wanted so he could get them on the way to his place. Jihoon would always tell him there was no need to bring food over, that he had food in his house and they could just cook.

“Jihoonie, I’m so hungry. I don’t think I can wait for the food to cook.”

So Jihoon indulges him even though he always orders from the same place. He wonders if Soonyoung will ever get sick of it.

\--

If anyone was counting, it’s approximately been more than three months since the breakup and Jihoon has been noticing the changes now that he has technically more time to himself.

It was weird how the fridge is always half empty when he swears he’s got everything he needs for a whole week.

Did Seungcheol really eat that much?

He went from doing his laundry weekly to once every two weeks since it was a waste.

Everything is just too big for him to live alone for a place that was made for two.

“I should probably start looking for a new place,” Jihoon mentions one night when he and Soonyoung were on the couch, a bowl of popcorn between them.

Soonyoung wanted to watch the latest Marvel movie, intrigued by Jihoon’s many superhero figurines. He was more than happy to go along with it, of course. And it’s nice. Spending time with Soonyoung even out of the bedroom was comfortable. It’s been literal months since he’s had anyone to simply hang out with after his relationship started falling apart.

“This place is too empty with just me in it.”

“You’re moving?” Soonyoung asks, eyes stuck on the TV.

Jihoon turns to him for a second and sees the other’s eyes widening at the explosion, his face shone with the many colors flashing from the screen. He turns his attention back on the TV, hugging the soft throw pillow to his chest, ignoring the feeling churning in his gut. “Not yet but I’ve been thinking about it. Besides my lease is ending in a few months.”

Soonyoung noticeably leans forward at that, eyebrows raising. He turns to Jihoon and says, “I can help you if you want.”

Jihoon doesn’t move but he sees Soonyoung’s hand scoop a fistful of popcorn from his peripheral. Suddenly hyperaware of the other’s every movement.

“You can say no. It’s alright.” Soonyoung follows up with a lopsided smile when he takes his sweet time answering, momentarily lost in his thoughts.

He waves a hand a little too frantic that necessary and takes his hand back just as quick. That’s when they finally make eye contact again after the movie started playing. “No. I’d like that.” Jihoon attempts to smile so Soonyoung knows he means what he just said.

The other nods, chucking a pillow on his lap and pressing both of his elbows on it. “I’ll ask my sister, I know she has a friend who has a realty business.”

“You have a sister?”

Soonyoung laughs and Jihoon tries his best to stay seated. He was embarrassed for not knowing that Soonyoung had a sister because that should probably be something he knows, right? It’s only dawning on him now that he doesn’t really know anything about the man he’s been spending almost every waking hour with for the last few weeks.

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says, snapping him out of his thoughts. “But she’s a lot older than us and she doesn’t live in Seoul so…” He shrugs.

“Oh okay,” Jihoon answers, his voice trailing off, trying his best not to spiral into his thoughts again and just enjoy the damn movie like he hasn’t seen it for at least a dozen times.

\--

It’s one of those nights in the studio when Jihoon is spending a few extra hours to finish a demo. Afraid that if he ignores the words and melodies in his mind, somebody else would end up writing it and he despises the mere thought of it.

By half past midnight, it’s only him the sound engineer, and their demo artist in the studio, all lost in their elements when Jihoon’s phone starts ringing.

Jihoon is almost irritated at the sudden interruption until he sees the caller ID.

_It’s Soonyoung._

Which is weird because they never call.

His companions expect him to excuse himself but Jihoon doesn’t. Sliding right to answer the call almost immediately.

There’s no hello, just the static and then Soonyoung’s soft hesitant voice.

“Are you busy?”

It takes Jihoon a few beats before he’s able to say “yeah.”

“Oh,” he hears on the other line with an airy sigh. “Sorry.”

Soonyoung ends it first, not even giving Jihoon time to think of what he should say. There was nothing to be sorry about, he wanted to tell him. He also didn’t miss the deflated tone in Soonyoung’s voice and feels half bad. It wasn’t his intention.

It’s silent in the studio.

 _It’s deafening,_ Jihoon thinks looking down at his lock screen. 12:48 AM

His thoughts flying to wherever Soonyoung was.

Maybe they should call it a day.

Jihoon unlocks his front door, blindly dropping his bag somewhere on the floor. He’ll probably trip over it later. And finally, his dead weight falling on the sofa.

He finally realizes how exhausted he was. His eyes hurt. There’s a creak on his neck and his back is sore from sitting all day. His stomach is close to grumbling, he just knows it. He decides he’ll probably just have heavy breakfast or lunch after he wakes up then eat this late into the night.

Jihoon lies there in the darkness of his home with his phone cold in his hand. He checks the time, 1:12 AM

**_To: Soonyoung  
_ ** _im not busy anymore, what is it?_

**_From: Soonyoung  
_ ** _just have a lot in my mind_

So he does the only logical thing that’s coming to mind. He presses ‘Call.’

“Hey.”

“Hi,” is all Soonyoung says.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. We can just talk about other things.”

\--

A morning romp is nothing unusual. Soonyoung spent the night because, of course, he did.

Jihoon woke up that morning with Soonyoung’s warm breathe on his nape. Jihoon can feel him ever so gently nosing at the skin there so he knew the other was awake.

He wiped his eyes and was about to get up when Soonyoung firmly holds him by the hip, only then recognizing the light pressure on his ass. Soonyoung’s hip instinctively twitching a little at the movement. He’s hard.

“Soonyoung what-“ Jihoon croaks in his hoarse morning voice attempting to turn around and look at what was happening.

“Fuck, Jihoon. Don’t move.” He sputters frantically. “This is so embarrassing. I was thinking of what to do about it but then you woke up.”

The last time Jihoon checked, morning wood was a normal guy thing. He didn’t mind.

“I wasn’t thinking anything.” He says defensively.

“Okay.”

Jihoon doesn’t know what comes over him. Maybe it’s the thought of Soonyoung so achingly hard first thing in the morning with just a few layers of fabric separating them. Maybe last night wasn’t enough.

He reaches behind him, touching Soonyoung where he badly needed it. The other sighs with a long exhale, a quiet whimper following right after. Without Soonyoung protesting, Jihoon finally turns around facing him. Soonyoung had his eyes shut tight, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, and his bare chest heaving, trying to hold himself back.

Jihoon hasn’t stopped palming him over his shorts so he finally asks, “Can I-“ Soonyoung cuts him off with frantic nods.

He chuckles, spitting in his hand and pulling down Soonyoung’s shorts to touch him better.

Soonyoung comes later with his whole body twitching, a lazy smile gracing his face when it dies down. Jihoon fetches him some wet wipes to clean the mess.

“Can we talk about the car?” Soonyoung asks out of the blue when they’re back in bed after eating light breakfast, still in the few pieces of clothing they woke up in.

Jihoon was lying on his back. Soonyoung was laying on his stomach with a pillow on his chest.

“No,” Jihoon answers flatly, earning a laugh from him.

_One._

“You never told me how you and Seungcheol got together,” Soonyoung asks after a comfortable silence.

Jihoon looks at Soonyoung only to see genuine curiosity in his eyes when he was expecting Soonyoung to tease him.

“What?” Soonyoung smiles, all teeth, and crescent eyes. “Can’t I be curious?”

“We met at college remember?”

Soonyoung tilts his head. “That part I know. But I want to hear about how you, you know? Said yes to be his boyfriend.”

It makes Jihoon shake his head in disbelief. It’s been so long since he last recalled that part of their story. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t remember every tiny detail of it. The trees were just shy of turning to faint shades of yellow and orange. It was still summer then, almost fall. It was hot during the day, but not sweltering, and chilly during the night, the perfect weather.

“We went on a camping trip with a few of our friends. That night, I couldn’t sleep because we didn’t bring enough blankets so you could feel the rocks and soil on your back.”

“Wait, oh my god,” Soonyoung suddenly exclaims sitting up, the blanket pooling on his lap. He had that teasing smile on his face, eyes so comically wide. “You shared a tent together?”

Jihoon shakes his head no. “I was tenting with Seokmin. He was with Jisoo and Jeonghan hyung.”

Soonyoung nods urging him to continue.

“So I got out, it was still dark by then, the sun wasn’t up yet. I was sitting alone at one of those camping chairs around the dead campfire we spent hours lighting.” Jihoon smiles, the memory still vivid in his mind. Seokmin fanning the small ember they made, like his life depended on it, only for the cool night breeze to blow it off.

“It was the middle of the night and we were in the middle of the woods by the beach. It was pitch black. I didn’t hear him walking closer and scared the shit out of me.”

The sound of Soonyoung’s laugh breaking the calm of the room accompanied by the familiar warm feeling spreading in Jihoon’s chest.

_Two._

“And then?”

“We sat there, waiting for the sun to rise. We talked and when the sun was up, he was my boyfriend.” Jihoon finishes, shrugging nonchalantly.

Soonyoung then plops back down on the bed facing the ceiling, arms and legs spread out like he owns the place. Jihoon didn’t mind.

“Hey,” He says looking up at where Jihoon had his back on the headboard. “That’s actually quite romantic. Didn’t know you were a softie.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes at him. “I’m not.”

But Soonyoung could see the smile in his eyes.

“Has your dream always been making music?” Soonyoung asks once again.

Jihoon didn’t know where all these questions were coming from but he’s more surprised of his willingness to answer all of them. Should he be asking Soonyoung questions too? The problem was, he didn’t know where to start. But if there’s something he’s sure of at the moment, it’s Soonyoung’s attention on him. He liked it.

_Three._

“It’s just something I wanted to do after learning about it.” He answers.

Soonyoung turns his whole body on the bed, lying on his side to face Jihoon. “Then what did u want to do before that?”

Jihoon ponders about it for a while, his eyebrows furrowing rather cutely in Soonyoung’s eyes.

Nobody’s really asked Jihoon this question lately. Although he does remember being asked about it back in high school. “I guess an athlete?”

Soonyoung nods at the answer in acknowledgment. “Yeah, you got pretty good stamina.” Ending it with a sheepish smile.

Jihoon gives him a pointed look at that.

Soonyoung just smiles at him in return. “But you are, you know? Good at making music.”

_Four._

And when Jihoon misses the time to react, Soonyoung chuckles light-heartedly.

“I’m not good at taking compliments.” He mumbles.

“I figured.” Smiling back at him. “Why not thank me by going for another round?” Soonyoung asks rhetorically, already crawling to hover over Jihoon, nuzzling his exposed chest and neck.

Jihoon’s hands automatically gripping his thighs that were now straddling him. “Jesus Christ Soonyoung, aren’t you tired?” He mutters under his breath, without a bite to it.

Soonyoung wasn’t. He danced every day of the week, this was nothing.

_Jihoon counted four times._

_His heart fluttered four times and Soonyoung wasn’t even trying._

-

For a change, Soonyoung was stuck at home. It was a weekend and he’s usually at the studio coming up with new routines, ignoring his colleagues nagging for him to go home. Or more recently, hanging out with Jihoon. Not babysitting his nephew.

At 8 AM, his sister woke him up with the shrill sound of his phone ringing. She had important errands to do in Seoul and no one was home to watch over Siwoo. So she was dropping the kid off at his place. His half asleep mind forgetting that it was the first time Jihoon was going to come over for a change.

Jihoon had just finished moving all his things to his new place and everything was still a mess. Boxes were still everywhere. Work suddenly got hectic so he hasn’t gotten to the task of putting the place together. He’s considering bribing Seokmin and Chan for some free food in return for manual labor. Yeah, he’s definitely going to do that.

“Uncle, who’s he?” Siwoo asks when Soonyoung comes back from the hallway with Jihoon in tow.

He’s never gotten around to knowing what Jihoon was to him so he panics.

“He’s… um…” He stammers looking back at Jihoon with a nervous smile. Not quite knowing what the right words to say were.

“I’m your uncle’s boyfriend,” Jihoon replies, walking past him and sitting on the single sofa.

Siwoo lights up at that, bowing to Jihoon in greeting. “Oh! I didn’t know you had one. Uncle, why didn’t you tell me?”

Soonyoung laughs it off nervously because he didn’t want to lie to his nephew. Also because he’s trying really hard not to gape at Jihoon.

“That’s because you never asked.” He answers the kid.

The doorbell rings by late noon. Soonyoung’s sister was back.

“Mommy!” Siwoo screams, running to the door to envelope his mom with a big hug.

When they all meet inside, they don’t miss the way Soonyoung’s sister’s gaze lingers on Jihoon a few seconds too long. But that was all there was to it.

“Sorry for troubling you. You guys probably had plans for today.” She says, helping Siwoo with his backpack.

“Noona, it's fine. He had fun. Didn’t you?” Soonyoung asks, putting Siwoo’s hat on for him.

“Yes!” He exclaims jumping, his bangs falling messily on his forehead. “Uncle Jihoon taught me how to play the keyboard. We’ve been practicing all day!”

“Really? That’s great!” She says looking down happily at the child and then at Jihoon. “Thank you Jihoon-shi.”

Jihoon simply smiles back, bowing his head.

“Okay. Say goodbye now.”

The kid runs to Soonyoung who lifts him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Then the kid, still in his arms, turns to Jihoon, lips still puckered for another kiss. So Soonyoung inches closer for his nephew to give Jihoon a kiss on the cheek too. Jihoon wasn’t used to it but he offers his cheek anyway.

Soonyoung is amazed at how his sister didn’t ask but the pointed look on her face when she saw Jihoon said they were going to talk about it later. For now, he brushes it off.

It doesn’t take long after dinner when they finally find themselves naked in Soonyoung’s bed later. That was why Jihoon came over after all.

“God, that was so hot,” Soonyoung mutters, a little out of breath when he pulls away from the sloppy kiss.

Jihoon looks down at him wondering what he was talking about.

Soonyoung swoops in, kissing his jaw with so much want. Jihoon wonders if he should take it easy. He didn’t want to have hickeys for everyone to see.

“When you said you were my boyfriend,” Soonyoung manages between kisses.

“Well, that’s kind of what we are. Unless you were seeing someone else besides me?” Jihoon replies, craning his neck, giving Soonyoung more room to work with.

He stills, holding Jihoon’s face so they’re at the same eye level. “Of course I’m not.” He moans from Jihoon’s hands traveling to his groin. “It’s just, ah, we never talked about labels.”

Jihoon kisses him with finality before he crawls down, engulfing Soonyoung with his mouth.

“Fuck.” Soonyoung curses, carding his hand through Jihoon’s dark locks.

When he’s fully hard, Jihoon doesn’t hesitate to get the bottle of lube to prep him, wiping the spit off his chin. They’ve done this more than a dozen times, it’s nothing new.

It doesn’t take long to prep Soonyoung that night. By the second finger, he was already wreathing in pleasure, pre-cum already dripping down his shaft. He’s just desperate to get Jihoon inside him.

“Come on. I’m good.” He utters, breathless, pulling Jihoon up for a messy kiss.

But things started to go south quickly at one slip of the tongue.

Jihoon was inside him and he was fucking him good. Soonyoung was on cloud nine and he hasn’t even come yet.

“God, I love you.”

It makes Jihoon stop. He looks everywhere but Soonyoung’s face.

Soonyoung panics, not knowing what to do with his hands. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Jihoon stays unmoving, catching his breath at the same time.

Soonyoung turns his head the other way just so he won’t see the hesitation on Jihoon’s face, so Jihoon wouldn’t see his face as his heart crumbles to a million pieces.

This is what he gets for always walking around with his heart on his sleeve.

The light grip on his bicep finally manages to pull Jihoon out of his thoughts.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Soonyoung whispers, his voice almost cracking. “I know you don’t feel the same way.”

The first thing in Jihoon’s mind is how bad he feels. Soonyoung has been nothing but nice to him. It’s too early to tell (even though he’s literally balls deep in Soonyoung at the moment) but he knows there’s something there. It’s impossible to feel nothing for him when he’s literally Jihoon’s favorite person. But Jihoon also knows that he still needs time to think everything over. Whatever this was with Soonyoung and him, it was happening way too quickly. He knows because he doesn’t even miss Seungcheol that much anymore, he barely thinks of him and they just broke up a few months ago. He didn’t expect to move on this quickly from a 4-year long relationship.

When Jihoon pulls back a little, Soonyoung throws an arm over his face to hide in case Jihoon could see right through him. He probably couldn’t but he had to make sure.

“Please,” Soonyoung practically begs. “Please just keep going.”

Soonyoung felt his eyes watering. If it was from what just happened or from how close he is with Jihoon fucking him so good, he didn’t know. He didn’t want to know so he blinks them away and holds Jihoon even closer, embracing him by the neck. He wraps his legs around Jihoon’s hips to urge him to move again, pressing the heels of his feet on the bottom of his spine.

Without a word, Jihoon starts thrusting into Soonyoung again until he’s a whimpering mess under him. He takes this as a sign that Soonyoung was close so he picks up his pace, chasing his own orgasm too, and they’re both coming. He grunts rather loudly, his skin prickling from pleasure, and his abdominal muscles spasms from the intensity of it. His breaths fanning the crook of Soonyoung’s neck, causing goosebumps on his skin.

As he slowly lifts his head up, Soonyoung grabs his face gently on each side, kissing him deeply once on the mouth and once on the corner of his lips for a few seconds. Jihoon closes his eyes basking on the feeling of it, the intimacy. But it was gone just as quick when Soonyoung rolled off the bed from under him, quietly heading for the bathroom. The door locks behind him and all Jihoon hears is the sound of the faucet running.

_Fuck._

\--

Soonyoung hasn’t been around for a whole week and Jihoon’s too scared to admit that he misses him, but he did. He really did. No annoying calls after midnight. No non-sense messages during the day.

Soonyoung is a great person. He couldn’t even recall anymore why he was so against knowing him before all of this transpired. He’s still annoying, no doubt, but Jihoon learned that’s just how he shows that he cares.

He hasn’t felt this lonely since breaking up with Seungcheol but the feeling was strangely similar. Or maybe he just needed someone to talk to. Yeah, it’s probably just that. So he does his second-best idea.

**_To: Yoon Jeonghan  
_ ** _hyung, can we talk?_

It was just a little past 8 in the evening. They agreed to meet at the Han River Park. Figuring, it wouldn’t be as crowded since it would be a Monday tomorrow.

Jihoon sat at a bench facing the river, hands in the front pockets of his jacket from the crisp evening breeze. Autumn had barely started but the temperature at night has significantly dropped a few degrees.

“Hey,” Jeonghan greets. “Bought us something to drink.” He says handing Jihoon a can of beer and putting the rest of it on the grass below.

“Thanks.”

They sat in silence. Neither of them knows where to start, or even why they met up.

“Ji,” Jeonghan started, hands clasped around his beer. “Do you want me to leave him?”

Jihoon thinks of the proper words to say. He was sure that if they had this conversation a few weeks or months before, his answer would be the complete opposite to what he was thinking of now.

He looks to his right and sees Jeonghan looking back at him expectantly. “Why should my opinion matter?”

“Because he was yours first,” Jeonghan replies shortly, voice quiet and regretful. And somehow, it hurts Jihoon hearing it too, how they were both put in such a difficult position by the same person they loved and love. But, they can’t keep blaming Seungcheol for doing what he did.

If Jihoon learned anything from the break-up, it was that you have the choice to try and be happy despite what happened or dwell on it and keep pointing fingers at whoever was at fault. He could keep blaming Seungcheol but at the end of the day, what happened had already happened. He was left with a broken heart but if it meant that one of them would be happy, then maybe Jihoon was fine with it.

Jihoon turns back to the view of the river, admiring the way the moon shines on it. “Does that matter?”

“Doesn’t it?” Jeonghan asks him right back.

“You love him.”

“I do.” Jeonghan replies and Jihoon hates how he hears it. A person shouldn’t sound so sad telling their friend about the person they love. He knew what type of person Jeonghan was and he knows he doesn’t deserve that.

If Jihoon’s assumptions were true, that Jeonghan’s been in love with Seungcheol for a long time, then he deserves to finally be happy despite how it happened.

“Then don’t,” Jihoon tells him without hesitation. “Don’t worry about me. You deserve to be happy, hyung. He deserves to be happy. And if that’s something you’ll only get with each other then who am I to interfere?” He finishes, turning back to Jeonghan to smile at him so he knows Jihoon is sincere.

Jeonghan sighs in return. “Aren’t you mad at me? I was the one he cheated on you with.”

Jihoon shakes his head. “I don’t think I was ever mad at you. I mean, yeah, he was an asshole. He could’ve just broken up with me.” He shrugs. Jeonghan doesn’t say anything in return so Jihoon continues. “Maybe we’ll all get to move on from what happened if we don’t keep putting that between us. Besides, I’m okay now.”

Jeonghan turns to him, giving him a curt smile as if saying thank you and Jihoon nods at him.

“How’s Soonyoung?”

Jihoon chuckles quietly, remembering why he even asked Jeonghan to meet up. “No idea. One minute he was following me around like a puppy, next thing I know he just somehow vanished from the face of the Earth.”

Jeonghan laughs back. “You like him?” He asks, turning to the younger with a fond smile.

“I guess.” He replies, voice almost a whisper.

Silence falls upon them, Jeonghan waiting for him to continue knowing Jihoon’s head was a mess.

“I can’t believe I miss him so much.” Jihoon finally admits, covering his face with the palms of his hand.

“Then call him,” Jeonghan suggests, opening another can of beer.

Jihoon thinks about it because he’s thought of calling him but that wasn’t his problem. “What do I even say?”

“That thing you just told me.” The other answers nonchalantly and maybe Jihoon knew Soonyoung would be okay with him saying just that.

They finish the rest of the 6-pack Jeonghan had brought talking about other things because, at the end of the day, they were still friends. What happened was unfortunate but Jihoon was okay now. He could admit that now.

“I’m glad we finally talked Jeonghan hyung.” He says, patting the dust off his jeans from sitting on the bench.

Jeonghan smiles at him, packing the empty cans back in the plastic they came in. “Me too.”

“Tell that asshole I still don’t wanna be his fucking friend,” Jihoon says as they walked together to head for home.

“I will,” Jeonghan says laughing. “And call Soonyoung.”

“Okay.”

They part ways. Jihoon watches Jeonghan walk away before putting the hood of his jacket on and heading home himself. He stops by a convenience store to buy two bottles of soju he thinks he’ll be needing when he deals with his Soonyoung situation.

\--

Soonyoung had been in the studio all day. He’s been here all week. It was the one thing that helped distract him for whatever issues he was having and to think that it was Jihoon he was avoiding. His past self would probably never believe him. He literally spent years pining for the other and now he was closer than ever but was it still worth the repeated heartaches? He didn’t know.

It was half-past 1 in the morning when his phone rings. It was Jihoon. Panic hits him because Jihoon never calls first. He doesn’t even like answering calls.

Soonyoung sits on the floor, his back resting on the cold mirrors on the wall. “Ji? Is everything okay?” He asks, worried.

“Yeah. Kinda.” Jihoon answers, voice barely there.

He hears Jihoon’s deep breathing in between the quiet static of the phone call. And he’s not going to lie, he missed his voice. He’s gotten used to being with him all the damn time, it was hard not to miss him.

When Soonyoung realized Jihoon wasn’t going to say anything more, he decides to ask. “Why’d you call?”

“Jeonghan hyung.” Jihoon utters. “We talked.”

“Really? Was it okay?”

“Yeah.” Jihoon pauses. “It felt good talking to him. It’s like I don’t have to keep avoiding him anymore.”

“Then, I’m glad,” Soonyoung replies, smiling bitterly. He really wished he could hug Jihoon right now.

It was silent for a few and Soonyoung didn’t know what to say next.

“Soon…” Jihoon says, his voice shaking. Then Soonyoung hears his voice crack.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon sniffles, making Soonyoung stand from where was slumped on the floor.

“I miss you.” He hears Jihoon cry out and he couldn’t help but stop in his tracks if he heard right. He stands there, the phone still on his ear, and hears Jihoon still shedding tears on the other side of the call so maybe it was real.

“Ji… I— where are you?” Soonyoung asks, gathering his things and turning off the lights to leave.

“I’m—,” Jihoon sniffles again. “I’m at home.”

“Okay.” He runs out of the building in so much haste he almost misses a step on the stairs. “I’m coming over alright? Is that okay?”

“Yeah.”

So he hails a cab to get to Jihoon as fast as he could.

Soonyoung doesn’t knock. He punches in the code to the front door like he always did whenever he came over.

He walks in and sees that the lights were dim in the living room. His eyes fall on Jihoon who was sitting alone on his sofa, looking back at him. Soonyoung notes the dried tear stains on his cheeks and oh how he wants to run over to him so bad and wipe them off but he holds himself back. He walks closer finally noticing the bottles on soju on the coffee table along with an empty pack of chips.

“How much did you drink?” Soonyoung asks, amused, sitting opposite Jihoon.

Jihoon smiles down, looking at the glass in front of him. “Just enough to get myself to finally call you.”

“Is everything okay? Are you okay?”

“I think so.” Jihoon shrugs still not making eye contact with Soonyoung, hugging a pillow to his lap. “Lately, I’ve been in the best condition until you stopped annoying the crap out of me.”

Soonyoung couldn’t help but laugh a little in return, getting back that urge to hug him in return. But, he’s just relieved that Jihoon had stopped crying.

Jihoon finally looks up at him, staring into his eyes. “I missed you,” Jihoon tells him with determination in his voice and he tries so hard not to cross the living room and kiss him. One week away from him was far too long, what was he thinking?

Soonyoung composes himself. “Yeah?” He smiles back at Jihoon. “I missed you, too.”

Jihoon’s eyebrows furrow, accusing. “Then, why were you gone?”

Soonyoung thinks of the proper words to say. “I needed time to think.” He answers shortly, afraid that he might upset Jihoon. But, the other just hums in return, urging for him to talk so he does.

“I didn’t know where I stood with you.” He continues, looking into Jihoon eyes. “I didn’t know if I was really willing to go through all that just for you to be okay. And I’m sorry, I got scared.”

Jihoon frowns. “Why?”

“Because I know I would willingly prioritize you even if it meant hurting myself throughout the whole process.” Soonyoung says, a sad smile on his face. “I like you too much Jihoon.”

“I’m sorry Soonyoung.” Jihoon apologizes, his eyes glassy with tears forming in his eyes once again. “I didn’t mean it, what I said about you just being a rebound.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” Soonyoung said, and he really did. Jihoon was heartbroken and it wasn’t like Jihoon had tricked him into the kind of relationship they had. He wanted it too. If anyone was at fault, then they both were.

They sat in silence. Suddenly the air was too heavy, both of them deep in thought. Wondering what the next step to this was.

“When you left, I finally had time to think about us and how I felt about you,” Jihoon starts. “And all I could come up with was how all the memories that should’ve still reminded me of Cheol, now reminds me of you and,” He sighs. “Soonyoung, I didn’t know what to do about it.”

In Soonyoung’s mind, dread was starting to form. He was afraid that this would be the end of whatever he could’ve had with Jihoon but it was inevitable. He knew it was too good to be true. He never really knew why but Jihoon hated him in the beginning. Hell, he didn’t even want to talk to him back then. It was pathetic, he jumped into the very first opportunity he could just so he could fool himself into thinking Jihoon would eventually like him back. Maybe Jihoon just missed him because he had too much free time in his hands.

So, imagine his surprise when Jihoon says the next words.

“Do you want to start over again?”

Soonyoung looks at him, confused. “Like friends?”

Jihoon’s whole face contorts. Soonyoung would’ve found it funny if he wasn’t so nervous and dumbfounded. “What? I don’t want to be your friend. What the fuck?”

“Oh sorry, I thought…“ He mutters bowing his head, dejected.

Jihoon grins. “I like you too, why would I want to be just your friend?”

Soonyoung lifts his head quickly, “What?”

Jihoon doesn’t stop smiling, feeling the warmth spread on his cheeks. He blames the alcohol. “Soonyoung, I like you too. And I really, really missed you.” He says finally and he’s sure it’s not the alcohol talking.

It only took Soonyoung two strides to reach Jihoon and kiss him square on the lips. Jihoon had to take a few seconds to recover from the shock before he kisses Soonyoung back.

Soonyoung pulls back first, hand resting under Jihoon’s ear where he’s cupping his jaw. Both of them red in the ears.

“Are you serious right now? I swear to god Lee Jihoon—“

“You tell me.” Jihoon cuts him off, grinning before he’s pulling Soonyoung down by the neck to kiss him again. Soonyoung couldn’t help but sigh, realizing that it really is different when you know the person kissing you likes you back. That dreadful feeling in Soonyoung’s guts, long gone. Jihoon would probably laugh at him when he tells him later that he thought they were breaking up even before they were officially together.

He feels Jihoon’s tongue lick his lips and he fails to suppress a moan. Jihoon starts to pull Soonyoung by the waist so he’s sitting on Jihoon’s lap, straddling him.

“Fuck,” Soonyoung mutters under his breath, a little out of it. “I should’ve gotten you drunk a long time ago.”

They both laugh.

\--

It was almost the New Year and Jisoo was celebrating his birthday so they decided to celebrate it all together at his place. Besides, they get to save money on food so who were they to say no?

Soonyoung and Jihoon arrived a little late because Jihoon had some things to finish up at the studio and Soonyoung had to commute there so they could drive to the party together. Since it was the holidays, it was a little crowded everywhere so Soonyoung took longer than he expected.

“Seokmin’s going to kill me. I promised to help prepare.” Soonyoung tells Jihoon as they got off the elevator.

Jihoon laughs quietly in return, grabbing Soonyoung’s hand as they arrive.

“Jihoon hyung!” Seokmin welcomes him with a hug.

When it was Soonyoung’s turn, Seokmin glares at him. “You’re lucky you’re dating Jihoon hyung. I would’ve uninvited you if you weren’t.” Soonyoung ignores his best friend’s sarcastic tone and manages to laugh it off, hugging him back.

“I don’t know where Jisoo hyung is but you’re the last ones to get here so everyone’s here. Food’s over there,” Seokmin says pointing at a buffet table. “Drinks are there to the right.”

Jihoon nods listening but his eyes wander around the place until it falls on Seungcheol, sitting at the back of the room, who was looking right back at him. Today would be the first time they’re meeting again after everything that happened.

Soonyoung must’ve sensed it because he felt an arm at the small of his back. “You okay?” He asks closely. Jihoon feels his warm breath on his ear.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Jihoon says grabbing Soonyoung’s hand, lacing their fingers, and turning to him with a smile so the other knows that he really was.

Despite being together for months now, a part of him was still worried that Soonyoung might still be insecure about being in the same space as Seungcheol.

“Okay.” Soonyoung simply says smiling back at him making his worries ebb away. Soonyoung kisses him on the forehead and squeezes his hand in assurance; that they were going to be okay. “Let’s get something to eat. I’m starving.”

They met Jeonghan shortly at the drinks table. “This punch is preposterous. I’ve had five cups full and I’m still nowhere near tipsy.”

The two laugh. “Hyung, it's only 9,” Soonyoung says.

“Yes, but I wanted to get drunk and give Seungcheol a hard time getting us home,” Jeonghan says, rolling his eyes. “So far, all I’ve gotten are 3 bathroom breaks. This is the shittiest party I’ve ever been to.” He adds with no real bite to it.

“Here you go.” Jeonghan says as he fills their cups with the same drink he’s been complaining about and leaves yelling, “Hong Jisoo, you’re party sucks!”

“Shut the fuck up, Yoon Jeonghan.” Jisoo snaps right back, eliciting laughter from everyone who heard it.

They spend the rest of the night catching up with everyone else. There weren’t necessarily a lot of guests but Jihoon couldn’t believe how most of the people there were people he knew back in college, all through Seokmin and Seungcheol.

It was nearing midnight and Jihoon’s body was catching up to his hard day’s work. He had to spend the previous night at the studio and had to go straight to the party so it was understandable that he was tired.

Soonyoung was conversing with the rest of their friends, about the stupid things they did back in college. Seokmin was talking about the time when he and Soonyoung tried to see if they wouldn’t be caught if they spent the night in one of the dance studios. To make the long story short, students were no longer allowed to stay past 9 PM in the dance studios. Everyone just finding out now that it was because of them.

“It was you two?! Hyung you don’t even go to our school!” Chan exclaims, directed more at Seokmin than Soonyoung. “I had to practice in the park at night because the downstairs neighbors complained when I tried practicing at home.”

Everyone explodes in laughter at the youngest’s small outburst.

When it dies down, Soonyoung notices Jihoon’s silence. The other had been standing behind him, head resting on Soonyoung’s back, their right hands clasped together through it all. He knew his boyfriend was tired and lacking sleep but he was glad he still came to spend time with everyone. Past Jihoon would’ve just skipped it altogether.

Soonyoung turns around, lifting Jihoon’s chin. He couldn’t help but smile at the soft tired expression on Jihoon’s face whenever he was trying to stay awake, eyelids heavy.

“You want to go?” Soonyoung asks, wrapping an arm across the other’s shoulder not minding everyone else in the room. They were all busy chattering anyway.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Let’s just say goodbye first.” Soonyoung says quietly, only for Jihoon to hear.

The whole time, Seungcheol couldn’t help but look at the exchange and he’s just glad Jihoon is in good hands. Looking back, Jihoon was never clingy with him in public. It was always just hand holding on the few times he allowed Seungcheol to do so. A few hugs when they were with friends. And he’s endeared at how much Soonyoung was able to break Jihoon’s walls in the few months they’ve been together when he himself took time doing so despite being together for a long time.

Jihoon lets Soonyoung pull him by the hand to where Jisoo was with Seokmin. Looking up, Jihoon’s eyes met Seungcheol and for a moment, Jihoon was scared of what would happen. He was afraid his anger for the man he used to love so much would resurface, but strangely enough, there were no ill feelings bubbling in his gut. There was nothing there anymore and he was more than okay with it. Only Soonyoung. He’s just happy they could be in the same space with their respective significant others without having to throw hands and spit curses just like their last encounter.

Seungcheol gives him a smile, he nods in return.

It was just the two of them in the elevator heading down to the parking lot. They were hugging, Jihoon’s face resting on Soonyoung’s chest. It was past midnight, no one would be riding the elevator anytime soon.

Soonyoung’s arm was loose around Jihoon’s neck while Jihoon hugged him around his waist.

For the record, Jihoon knows this was the limit to his clinginess in public. He was just so tired and being this close with Soonyoung was the only thing keeping him from falling asleep. And Soonyoung, he wasn’t going to complain, he’d rather indulge. Jihoon was never this clingy save for the few times he was sick and wanted to be pampered.

“Will you let me drive your car?” Soonyoung tries, rubbing soothing circles on Jihoon’s back with his other hand.

Jihoon laughs, looking up from Soonyoung’s chest. “Why do you like my car so much?”

Soonyoung shrugs. “Because it’s new and really expensive.”

“Don’t remind me. I was drunk and mad when I bought it.” Jihoon answers, shaking his head.

“I know,” Soonyoung says, laughing at his boyfriend’s reaction. “Most days I forget that you’re rich.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah? Tell that to all your thousand-dollar studio equipment at home.”

Jihoon groans, burying his head back on Soonyoung’s shirt.

“You know, maybe I should thank Seungcheol someday for posting that photo of him in somebody else’s Audi, which you thought was his, and got jealous so you bought a more expensive model.”

Jihoon laughs, remembering his late-night meltdown over Seungcheol in what used to be _their_ dream car. He barely got any sleep that night from jealousy or anger, he wasn’t sure really sure what.

The next thing he knew, he was meeting with his dealer and signing the contract, taking the car home 3 days later, and staring at it parked in his space wondering what the hell he was thinking.

Soonyoung laughs too, squeezing him lightly and kissing his temple right when the elevator door finally opens.

They finally separate, walking side by side.

“Race you to the car,” Soonyoung announces flashing Jihoon his brightest smile, running ahead.

Jihoon laughs mostly to himself, shaking his head. “You didn’t count.”

“Doesn’t matter!” Soonyoung shouts back.

Jihoon just watches his boyfriend run ahead of him, brown hair bouncing with his every step, cheeks bunched up from how wide he was smiling.

He’s so in love.

“Here.” He calls out, throwing his car keys at Soonyoung who catches it right on time.

He looks back at Jihoon, eyes sparkling, clearly delighted. Jihoon watches him with a fond expression as he screamed through the whole floor and jumps in excitement. He’s always wanted to try and drive Jihoon’s car but the other never really let him just because. And for Jihoon, he just really likes to tease Soonyoung. He liked seeing his boyfriend pout, how he always fails whenever he sulked and tried to ignore Jihoon. He loves all of that about Soonyoung.

Soonyoung then runs off like a kid in a toy store, pressing the buttons on Jihoon’s car keys. “Come on, babe!” He yells, looking back at Jihoon who was walking far behind him with a content smile. “Who knows? I might just go ahead and steal your car.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly inspired by the song ‘Don’t wanna be your friend’ by Nina. It’s a good song, trust me. And I’m not creative enough to think of another title. I’m sorry but I think I’m just living up to my reputation of exceptionally lame fic titles (◕ᴗ◕✿)
> 
> And roughly editing this, why doesn’t feel as long as compared to I was writing it? 
> 
> I hope you liked it either way.  
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated. 
> 
> I’m on Twitter @imrnlyn.


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